Never Again
by 22cuppy22
Summary: Shannon/OC Summary inside. Other characters include: Jeff, Beth, Matt, Shane, and some other OC's OC is not a diva, just so ya know.
1. Never Again

**_D___****ISCLAIMER: I DO NOT own the song. The only thing I own are the OC.**

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_Summary: She never understood why she couldn't walk away. She thought it was because she was young and naive. That she was desparate... And she was. But, even a blind fool would know to walk away if he was in her situation. She grabbed what she could and ran away. Ran away to another city to prepare for a new life elsewhere. Ready to give up on herslef, she found someone whilst looking for a new job. He soon falls for her and wants to help her... But will she let anyone in again? Especially when history makes a repeat of itself_.

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**_Never Again_**

**_Chapter 1 _**

_I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green_

I tried to get what happened out of my head...

_I hope when your in bed with her...you think of me _

No matter how hard I tried...I just couldn't...

_I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well_

_Could you tell, by the flames that burned your words?_

_I never read your letter...'cause I know what'd you say_

I looked at the letter again, with tears in my eyes, I tried to put it down... But, me being me I was too weak... Too much of a fool...

_Give me that Sunday school answer, try and make it all okay_

I picked up the knife... listening to a song that pretty much described me right now... In my eyes anyway.

_Does it hurt... To know I'll never be there?_

'Does it?'...

_Bet it sucks... To see my face everywhere_

'Probaly not...'

_It was you... Who chose to end it like you did, I was the last to know_

'Why?'...

_You knew... Exactly what you would do_

'Did you?'...

_Don't say... You simply lost your way_

'No.'

_She may believe you, but I never will_

_'Never again'_

_If she really knows the truth, she desrves you_

Even now I didn't understand what I did wrong... where did this go wrong?...

_A trophy wife, oh, how cute_

What does she have?

_Ignorance is bliss_

'More than me, that's for sure.'

_But when your day comes..._

_And he's through with you... And he'll be through with you_

Was I another?

_You'll die together but alone_

'That's Me... all alone...'

_You wrote me in a letter_

'Why?'

_You couldn't say it right to my face_

'Were you afraid?'

_Well, give me that Sunday school answer_

_Repent yourself away_

_Does it hurt... To know I'll never be there_

'Shouldn't it?'

_Bet it sucks... To see my face everywhere_

'It should.'

_It was you... Who chose to end it like you did_

'Fine_.'_

_I was the last to know_

'Whatever.'

_You knew... Exactly what you would do_

'I don't care anymore.'

_And don't say... you simply lost your way_

'That's not a lie.'

_They may believe you... But I never will _

'Never again...'

_Never again will I hear you_

'Nope.'

_Never again will I miss you_

'I won't.'

_Never again will I fall to you_

_'Never.'_

_Never again will I kiss you_

Will blood take the pain away?

_Never again will I want you_

What about this knife?

_Never again will I love you_

"Never..."

_Does it hurt... To know I'll never be there?_

Will it take some of my pain away if it does?

_Bet it sucks... To see my face everywhere _

'I hope so.'

_It was you.. Who chose to end it like it did_

I love the moon.

_I was the last to know_

It shows the blood perfectly.

_You knew... Exactly what you would do _

'Did I? Do I now?'

_And don't say... You simply lost your way_

'I know this isn't right.'

_They may believe you_

'Why do they?'

_But I never will_

_I never will_

_I never will_

"Never again..."

I watched as the blood trickled down my arm onto the floor... mesmerized my the beautiful look the moon gave the blood.

"I know this isn't right."

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Yeah, I know it sucked but I tried my best :/ Hope it didn't get to confusing

Please R&R to tell me if I should continue. Even 1 would help :]

Thank you for reading!


	2. Blow Away the Missing

**_Disclaimer: I do not own the song, the band/singers, etc. Nor do I own the known characters, only the OC's. _**

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_**Never Again**_

_**Blow away the missing**_

After cleaning the wounds with alcohol, I wrapped my arms and legs with gauze, grabbed my keys, my iPod, and my hoodie and stepped out of the house, locked it, and walked down the streets. I began to sing along to the song I was currently listening to.

_"Please, please, forgive me, but I won't be home again,_

_Maybe one day you'll look up, and very conscious you'll say to no one:_

_"Isn't something missing?"_

_You won't cry for my abscence, I know_

_You forgot me long ago_

_Am I that unimportant?_

_Am I so insignificant?_

Isn't something missing?"

Tears had threatened to fall, but I didn't let them..._ "Isn't someone missing me?" _Too many have already fallen for him, and I won't let him be my downfall. Not again... Never again. I just don't understand why it hurts so much. Once I stop being such a chicken-shit, I might just resolve to that.

_"Even though I been sacrificed_

_You, won't try for me, not now_

_Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone..._

_Isn't someone missing me?..."_

When the song ended, it switched to _'Blow Me Away'_ by Breaking Benjamin.

_They fall in line, one at a time_

_Ready to play... I can't see them anyway_

_No time to lose, We've got to move_

_Steady your hand... I am losing sight again_

_Fire your guns, Its time to run_

_Blow me away... I will stay unless I may_

_After the fall, We'll shake it off_

_Show me the way _

_Only the strongest will survive_

_Lead me to heaven when we die_

_I have a shadow on the wall_

_I'll the one to save us all_

Without even realizing it, I had shown up at my 'hiding spot'. No one, not even him, knows about it. I never understood people. They always said I was pretty and that they liked my name, thought it was pretty. That it suited me.

I hate it. I hate everything about me. My name. My face. I hated my body shape. But, I think most of all, I hate my personality. I'd always admire people, like OC's in fanfictions or characters in movies or books. I always admired models and movie stars. Especially models. They had beautiful eyes, beautiful, silky flowing hair, a great complextion, and gorgeous figures.

I tried to used make up to make myself look more beautiful, or attempt, but I always ended up turning out into a disaster. Even the best makeup artist in the world couldn't help me.

Diets never worked either. I'd be on a diet for 3 months and they never worked. Only endangered my health. I should've known better, never liked them before.

In my mind there was always something wrong with me... and its true. Its all true.

Its no wonder it happened. It's because I wasn't beautiful enough. Because I was too shy to satisfy him. Because I wasn't good enough for him. Once I had figured it out I knew I would never be good enoguh for anyone. I thought... no, I _knew_, everyone deserved better than me.

So I made a decision. I vowed myself to never date again. To never fall in love. To never lose my virginity. Yeah, that's probaly fifty percent of the reason he didn't want me. It's because I'm a virgin. People probaly would've start to call me the Virgin Mary, if my name was Mary that is. Thank goodness it's not, I don't think I could handle anymore harrassment. School was tough enough.

I looked up at the moon. Nighttime was always my favorite time in the day. Next to the sunset of course. I never knew why, but it was something about the moon that would always calm me. The moon shining over the mountains onto a lake surrounded by trees, one of my favorite images.

Where did I go wrong, I wonder.

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I looked at my iPod to notice it was already 2:36a.m. I had been out for about three and a half hours now.

My mind was out for that long?

I got up and walked back home taking my time. Not like there was anything to rush to. I took the long way, which, to anyone else would be a mistake on account of how dark it is. I saw a small clearing showing me Im going in the right direction. My memory still remained somewhere within my skull, forever unable to erase the mental map of these woods from my mind.

I walked through the thicket on the other side of the small clearing, turned left and rounded two oaks to avoid a deep ditch. About 6 minutes later I heard running water. I walked up the arched path, then down and jumped two large rocks and a few smaller stones to crossed the three foot deep river, six feet in width. I continued down the path and started to climb large rocks, jumping from one to the other... Avoiding the faulty ones. To anyone else this would be dangerous, at night without a good light and some thick rope, but I prefer it that way. It makes things challenging. Well, when the moon's hiding anyway. It's light is enough for me. Plus, I would like to keep its image in my head, just in case I forget the layouts.

Once I got the top I keep my way climbing high, noticing the increased chill and calming breeze. I got to the ledge of the rocks, or cliff... or whatever else you'd call it. I took a long look down at the bright city of Los Angeles. I looked up at the sky that should be covered in stars. Its not.

Making sure my iPod is tucked into a safe pocket, I turned around, walked diagnally to my right, and began my descent down the cliff. I slid down, slighty steep and jumped to the five foot far rock. Its a good thing I memerized each step and distance or else I could've been hurt before I even crossed the river. I jumped again and then again, landed on a flat-topped rock. After jumping to the rock below, I slid some more and ran down the curved hill, skidding myself to a hault before I went to far.

I was about six miles from home. I checked my iPod. 2:55. That's not bad for walking in the dark. I thanked the moon again for its shining light for reflecting off the river. I always enjoyed the bright glistening of the flowing water. At night, nontheless. There was a waterfall, a small one, only about six and a half feet tall, that poured the water into slightly large pond and began its cycling journey to a connecting river that expanded to make it larger. From the third oak since the pond, the water is now about five feet deep and nine feet in width.

3:35 is the time I made it back onto the path I walked on earlier and began my way home. A mile and three quarters left to go. I didn't want to go through the hassels of crossing streets, rushing cars, sagging hookers, and perverted drunks, so I added another quarter mile into my walk, as I usually do.

4:16 I get home. "Won't be long now."

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Please Review and tell me what you think of this so far, whether I should continue or not, etc.

I apologize if it was too detailed or boring. It will get better, eventually .


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